I see now that God didn't bring me here as a soldier to receive more training, eager to prove myself a ready and fit carrier of the gospel. He brought me here to love me and it happened to be on a YWAM base in Kona, Hawaii. Through all the teachings, work duty hours, ministry times, music, and moments in the prayer room I have come to know Him better. But it's not because I have the information in my mind. It's because of the power of the Holy Spirit to reveal it to my heart. I will probably never fully understand, with my mind and my heart, all of the wisdom I've heard during these past months. My spirit, however, begs to differ. My spirit-woman soaked it in! My spirit is dancing and singing and laughing. She wants to lead from now on and I so desire that. Lead me when I'm going to eat dinner! Lead me when I'm at the airport! Lead me when I'm on the airplane heading for Nepal! Lead me when I've been in Kathmandu for a month and feel homesick! Lead me when my levels of patience are depleting! Lead me when I'm tired and hurting! Lead me when I come back to "normal life"! Lead me when I go back to UT! Lead me when I don't want to do my homework! Lead me when I get my first job as a social worker! Lead me to the ends of the earth! Lead me to my next neighbor!
Holy Spirit you are here, there, and everywhere. I walk accordingly. I see...
Footprints because I follow the Lamb. Dust because I am close behind my Rabbai. Kisses because His word hits me. Tears because I'm not afraid to cry. A new city because He will wipe away every tear soon enough. Leaves because His wind moves everything and His plan is to heal the nations. A bride because He desires a help-meet who is His equal. Prayer because Jesus is still living with unanswered prayers. Desire because He created me for passion. Satisfaction because He is my reward. Longing because there's always more of Him. Frustration because things are not ok right now. Declaration because He is the solution. Justice because He is coming back. Rest because I know He is trustworthy. Smile because His smile is breaking out all over the earth. Obedience because I so love Him. Groaning because the sons of Adam and daughters of Eve have glory that we have yet to see. Aching because the sounds of the indigenous have yet to be fully released. Laughter because the Holy Spirit loves to laugh. Warmth because my body was meant for God and God for my body. Kindness because His eyes are upon me. Wild because His heart is beating and I feel it. Breath because I'm an eternal being. Human tabernacle because God desires a dwelling place. Marriage because redeemed humanity is a bride. Preparation because the bridegroom is Jesus. Food because there's gonna be a wedding feast. Excitement because that's why I'm living.
The point is lecture phase never really ends :)
