I didn't know how I could sum up everything about the time I was in Nepal and Tibet for the past 3 months. So I decided to type up one of my journal entries, while in Tibet.
The day that a waitress in Lhasa, Tibet received the gospel and the Holy Spirit-5/22/11:
(Wooing)
I am lovesick! I love talking about You Jesus. You are so good! Your plans are perfect.
Lord it was You who stirred our hearts this morning, who showed me Your desire to unlock peoples' hearts. You truly reign over all the earth (Psalm 103:19-22), but in this day You are looking for voluntary lovers (Psalm 110:3). Jesus as you sit on Your throne you make intercession for us. You speak life over us all the day long! You make intercession in this ministry of reconciliation, of wooing the hearts of people who are hungry for You. You are a Bridegroom King. You conquer the heart of Your bride.
A heart was conquered today! A beautiful woman's life was touched by the revelation of Your love (how numerous are Your thoughts toward her), joy (Your Spirit gives us joy on the inside!), and power (You defeated sin and death). Holy Spirit surround her. You are good! You are the King of Kings and You reign over all, but above all You love us. How You love us! And how You've won us by Your kindness and goodness. The fruit of righteousness is a tree of life and by Your Spirit of wisdom and revelation, souls are conquered and won (Proverbs 11:30)! Thank-you for capturing the heart of this daughter of Jerusalem!
You leap upon the mountains, dance upon the heights, but Your greatest delight is conquering the heart of Your bride. You have conquered my heart. You have won me. I am a slave to You, to Your righteousness. I surrender happily. I am lovesick.
Thursday, June 23, 2011
Saturday, March 26, 2011
Lecture Phase Complete
Yes I have crossed the finish line of this Fire & Fragrance DTS 2011 Lecture Phase event. I can hear the applause of Abba, Jesus, Holy Spirit, and the great cloud of witnesses. I went surfing. Once with a fun-board heehee... And hundreds of times on the waves of revelation about who God is. He is love! I declare and shout that He is love! He can't help Himself and He never will stop being who He is for all of eternity.
I see now that God didn't bring me here as a soldier to receive more training, eager to prove myself a ready and fit carrier of the gospel. He brought me here to love me and it happened to be on a YWAM base in Kona, Hawaii. Through all the teachings, work duty hours, ministry times, music, and moments in the prayer room I have come to know Him better. But it's not because I have the information in my mind. It's because of the power of the Holy Spirit to reveal it to my heart. I will probably never fully understand, with my mind and my heart, all of the wisdom I've heard during these past months. My spirit, however, begs to differ. My spirit-woman soaked it in! My spirit is dancing and singing and laughing. She wants to lead from now on and I so desire that. Lead me when I'm going to eat dinner! Lead me when I'm at the airport! Lead me when I'm on the airplane heading for Nepal! Lead me when I've been in Kathmandu for a month and feel homesick! Lead me when my levels of patience are depleting! Lead me when I'm tired and hurting! Lead me when I come back to "normal life"! Lead me when I go back to UT! Lead me when I don't want to do my homework! Lead me when I get my first job as a social worker! Lead me to the ends of the earth! Lead me to my next neighbor!
Holy Spirit you are here, there, and everywhere. I walk accordingly. I see...
Footprints because I follow the Lamb. Dust because I am close behind my Rabbai. Kisses because His word hits me. Tears because I'm not afraid to cry. A new city because He will wipe away every tear soon enough. Leaves because His wind moves everything and His plan is to heal the nations. A bride because He desires a help-meet who is His equal. Prayer because Jesus is still living with unanswered prayers. Desire because He created me for passion. Satisfaction because He is my reward. Longing because there's always more of Him. Frustration because things are not ok right now. Declaration because He is the solution. Justice because He is coming back. Rest because I know He is trustworthy. Smile because His smile is breaking out all over the earth. Obedience because I so love Him. Groaning because the sons of Adam and daughters of Eve have glory that we have yet to see. Aching because the sounds of the indigenous have yet to be fully released. Laughter because the Holy Spirit loves to laugh. Warmth because my body was meant for God and God for my body. Kindness because His eyes are upon me. Wild because His heart is beating and I feel it. Breath because I'm an eternal being. Human tabernacle because God desires a dwelling place. Marriage because redeemed humanity is a bride. Preparation because the bridegroom is Jesus. Food because there's gonna be a wedding feast. Excitement because that's why I'm living.
The point is lecture phase never really ends :)
Monday, January 17, 2011
swimming
I'm on an island. I'm on a missions base with some important ladies and gentleman. I'm in a place of beauty with salty ocean waves, roaring and crashing. I'm one of seventy-something students in a school about fire and fragrance. God is an all-consuming fire and we His disciples are the fragrance of who He is. So I smell like He is? Yessum.
I also smell sweaty. I like the fact that I walk to the dining room, to the prayer room, to class, to the shore. I like to sweat. I like to watch the ocean waves and think about how God's voice sounds like those roaring waves. I can hear His voice, but I also see that I move His heart. I gaze on His beauty.
Friday evening I was in the prayer room as it was full of DTS staff students. We were having a 24-hour session that we refer to as a "burn". Most people did not stay for the full twenty-four hours but a few did. I saw a picture of Jesus sitting at the right hand of the Father. He was talking to some angels and it seemed like it was a matter of importance. He stopped suddenly and closed His eyes. I could see that He felt something inside of Him, in His heart. His heart was stirring and He smiled. "It's Sarah" he whispered. He listens and He continues smiling.
In my heart I whispered, "You are holy Jesus."
He whispers back,"And you are holy"
"You are mighty Jesus."
"And you are strong."
He smiles and turns to the Father and they laugh together. So that's what David meant when God delights in us. God delights in me and I saw and faintly felt the Holy Spirit twirling inside of me. This is the trinity, my God. It's a dance of love and friendship and for a moment I was caught up in it. I smiled and Jesus smiled. "I'm not just glancing at You, I'm gazing at You. We're all gazing at You." He smiles a smile that speaks of such deep joy, but no combination of facial features could come together and form an expression that could sufficiently show His heart.
That's why there's the ocean. His heart is deeper than the deepest ocean. His heart speaks of His emotions toward us. mmmm... there's no way anyone could ever take this in, we can only sink or swim or both. But we don't just swim alongside the angels. We have our own reservoir of living water within us and His deep calls out to our deep. And what if there's also no end to the depth inside of us... the depth of the impact of His affections for us? We are eternal beings.
Andy Byrd, the school leader, spoke to us the first week of the DTS. He mentioned that he'd love to have lots of children because they are beings that he helped create and they will live forever. We humans are remarkable. I've been thinking about how surreal it is that I am a human being, breathing air, talking to the living God, destined to live forever. There are some important people on this planet and then there's all of humanity. But the crazy thing about this whole of humanity is that each one was carefully lovingly fearfully crafted by God who had a dream in His heart for each one. This God is something else, in fact He is holy, unlike anyone else. He loves us ya'll. How does one respond? One could learn how to swim or one could learn how to sink.
Monday, January 10, 2011
a time to support
Hello beloved friends and family,
I write this letter to bring you news of what I’ve been up to, what my plans are, and to ask for your prayers and financial support.
I’ve been a student at the University of Texas for the past two years, but in following the leading of the Holy Spirit I decided to take a break from studies for this ‘10-’11 year. Hence I wasn’t in school this past semester, but in Amsterdam, the Netherlands. To that beautiful city I went to participate in the Intercessory Missionary Internship (IMI) for three months. This was connected to the Tabernacle of the Nations, a house of prayer connected with YWAM Amsterdam located in the middle of the red light district. For me, the IMI was a season of time in which I tasted what it was like to be an intercessory missionary: one whose primary occupation is to minister before the Lord through night and day prayer. I tasted and saw that it was good, realizing that the prayer room-the Tabernacle as well as the houses of prayer the Holy Spirit is raising up globally-is like the heartbeat of God in the body of Christ, which is Jesus’ bride! I have a new-found passion for the house of prayer movement and how this fuels everything that the body of Christ does, whether evangelism, church-planting, or works of justice. This passion comes from God’s own heart, for didn’t Jesus say that His house would be called a house of prayer!
Now I am in Kona, Hawaii doing a DTS (discipleship training school) called Fire and Fragrance. The purpose of the training is to call forth young people who will help build and/or plant houses/communities who seek first and foremost worship, intercession, prayer, and establishing a place for God’s fire to fall. From there His fragrance is released to the lost and broken, the communities, and the world through a bridal church whose heart is consumed with passionate love for Jesus. The desire of the leadership at Fire and Fragrance is to equip leaders to walk in a marriage of prayer and mission.
Information about the DTS:
The school runs for 5 ½ months from January 6th to June 17th. There is a 12-week lecture phase, followed by an 11-week outreach phase. God has already provided the money for the lecture phase, which covers my room, board, and tuition at the YWAM base.
I still need funds for the outreach, which would cover airfares, housing, and food. I don't know the location of the outreach yet, but the estimated expenses are $5000-$6000.
Find more information at their website: Fire and Fragrance
I ask that you partner with me in prayer. During my time in Amsterdam, I was very blessed to have people from home partnering with me in prayer and I hope for the same during my time in Hawaii.
Please pray and ask the Lord about supporting me financially for the outreach phase. Giving financially is a picture of what Paul says in Galatians 6:8 about sowing to please the Holy Spirit whereby reaping everlasting life. In giving financially into my trip you also reap of the fruit that will come from it. He is the Provider and in His Kingdom we can freely give and receive with cheerful and thankful hearts for He is a good Father.
If you would like to partner with me financially you can click on the Donate button located on the right hand side of this page.
If you have any questions email me at holacharah@gmail.com.
Thank you for reading this and thank you for your support. Blessings, strength, and encouragement to you from our Jesus, the Bridegroom, King, and Judge who is coming back soon!
~Sarah Elizabeth Strong
I write this letter to bring you news of what I’ve been up to, what my plans are, and to ask for your prayers and financial support.
I’ve been a student at the University of Texas for the past two years, but in following the leading of the Holy Spirit I decided to take a break from studies for this ‘10-’11 year. Hence I wasn’t in school this past semester, but in Amsterdam, the Netherlands. To that beautiful city I went to participate in the Intercessory Missionary Internship (IMI) for three months. This was connected to the Tabernacle of the Nations, a house of prayer connected with YWAM Amsterdam located in the middle of the red light district. For me, the IMI was a season of time in which I tasted what it was like to be an intercessory missionary: one whose primary occupation is to minister before the Lord through night and day prayer. I tasted and saw that it was good, realizing that the prayer room-the Tabernacle as well as the houses of prayer the Holy Spirit is raising up globally-is like the heartbeat of God in the body of Christ, which is Jesus’ bride! I have a new-found passion for the house of prayer movement and how this fuels everything that the body of Christ does, whether evangelism, church-planting, or works of justice. This passion comes from God’s own heart, for didn’t Jesus say that His house would be called a house of prayer!
Now I am in Kona, Hawaii doing a DTS (discipleship training school) called Fire and Fragrance. The purpose of the training is to call forth young people who will help build and/or plant houses/communities who seek first and foremost worship, intercession, prayer, and establishing a place for God’s fire to fall. From there His fragrance is released to the lost and broken, the communities, and the world through a bridal church whose heart is consumed with passionate love for Jesus. The desire of the leadership at Fire and Fragrance is to equip leaders to walk in a marriage of prayer and mission.
Information about the DTS:
The school runs for 5 ½ months from January 6th to June 17th. There is a 12-week lecture phase, followed by an 11-week outreach phase. God has already provided the money for the lecture phase, which covers my room, board, and tuition at the YWAM base.
I still need funds for the outreach, which would cover airfares, housing, and food. I don't know the location of the outreach yet, but the estimated expenses are $5000-$6000.
Find more information at their website: Fire and Fragrance
I ask that you partner with me in prayer. During my time in Amsterdam, I was very blessed to have people from home partnering with me in prayer and I hope for the same during my time in Hawaii.
Please pray and ask the Lord about supporting me financially for the outreach phase. Giving financially is a picture of what Paul says in Galatians 6:8 about sowing to please the Holy Spirit whereby reaping everlasting life. In giving financially into my trip you also reap of the fruit that will come from it. He is the Provider and in His Kingdom we can freely give and receive with cheerful and thankful hearts for He is a good Father.
If you would like to partner with me financially you can click on the Donate button located on the right hand side of this page.
If you have any questions email me at holacharah@gmail.com.
Thank you for reading this and thank you for your support. Blessings, strength, and encouragement to you from our Jesus, the Bridegroom, King, and Judge who is coming back soon!
~Sarah Elizabeth Strong
Monday, January 3, 2011
I'm still here
In three days the Fire and Fragrance Discipleship Training School starts. In three days I will be on a plane to Kona, Hawaii. In three days I will be seeing many new things.
Today I'm still here in Austin, Tx (well, suburbia of Cedar Park). I feel very much still here, in my mind, body, and emotions. I can imagine what it will be like, but I haven't tried. The excitement and butterflies have not kicked in yet. God is with me and I feel His Presence with me and we are together. God is present. He is where I want to be and He is the ultimate cause of butterflies in my tummy. He makes me excited. My eyes are on Him and we run together.
We run together spreading the fragrance of Him, the sweet-smelling aroma, the incense of prayer. I'm excited to continue this journey in Hawaii and into eternity!
Today I'm still here in Austin, Tx (well, suburbia of Cedar Park). I feel very much still here, in my mind, body, and emotions. I can imagine what it will be like, but I haven't tried. The excitement and butterflies have not kicked in yet. God is with me and I feel His Presence with me and we are together. God is present. He is where I want to be and He is the ultimate cause of butterflies in my tummy. He makes me excited. My eyes are on Him and we run together.
We run together spreading the fragrance of Him, the sweet-smelling aroma, the incense of prayer. I'm excited to continue this journey in Hawaii and into eternity!
Monday, December 20, 2010
knowing
In two days I will be flying back to the United States of America, to Texas, to Austin. I'll be home for Christmas. I'm excited. I have already said so many goodbyes but I haven't cried. I've felt the lump in my throat and the uneasiness in my stomach that usually precede the tears, but I have no tears. My eyes are dry. The tears will probably break forth at a random time and I am prepared for them with special tissues.
This intercessory missionary internship has finished officially and with the ending I had to think about all that has happened. So much has happened, so many moments and revelations and funny memories. But with all the many happenings, I can see that God was showing a path. He showed me the way to follow Him. The way to come before Him, the way to taste of Him, to see that He has the words of eternal life, and to keep coming to Him.
"You will show me the path of life;
In Your presence is fullness of joy;
At Your right hand are pleasures forevermore."
Psalm 16:11
He shows me the path of life. I see it. In being in the prayer room in Amsterdam, sitting in His Presence, and talking with Him all those hours I found Him. In Him telling me to take this year off from university and come to YWAM Amsterdam, He was showing me the path that was for me. We all have to come before Him and let Him show us the path of life and only He can show it to us. The pastor through His sermons cannot show this, the greatest and most relevant teachers cannot, the most powerful meeting cannot, the latest book cannot... no musical composition, no drug or substance, no world traveling expedition, no magnificent entrepreneurial venture, no movie or television series... only the Father, the Son, and the Holy Spirit. God made us and He knows us.
Do I know Him? Do I know that in His presence is fullness of joy? Do I know that in Jesus there are pleasures forever? Forever and ever and ever, as in I will never be bored or not satisfied? Fullness of joy! What does that even mean?
Do I know how to simply drink of Him and Him alone? He said that I as one who believes can come and drink and have rivers of living water flowing from my most inner being. Do I know what this reality is: to have rivers of living water flowing from within me? Do I live from this source, this bread of life and this living water?
This path of life is knowing that I need to know Him better. Knowing that there is joy and pleasure in His presence and I haven't tasted the fullness. I want to. Knowing that this reality of having rivers of living water flowing from the innermost being can be true. Knowing that it is possible to feel the affections of God on my emotions and to think like God because I have the mind of Jesus.
I know that I want to know more. I am hungry to have more hunger. I am crying because of the verse that says He will wipe every tear from our eyes. I have the revelation that I need to ask God for more revelation about Himself. Only He can show and only He can spark the flame, only He can breathe life, only He can melt a heart of stone, only He. He is amazing. His love is surprising. 1000 years from now we will still be receiving revelation about His love, we will still be awestruck by His beauty, we will still be tasting of His joy and the fullness of it.
God is beyond anything! And He wants to show us the path of life, the path to knowing Him. He is an open book for us to know. He knows the way. Like in John, Jesus says, "Come and see". I'm a follower of Jesus and He told me to "come and see". For me it was coming to Amsterdam and having a season of intercession. I came and I have seen a glimpse. But the seeing is not for a season. I will be beholding His glory forever, gazing upon His beauty forever.
All will see the glory of this Man, but now He invites us to come so that He can show us.
And Jesus Himself prayed that we who believe would be with Him and see Him.
"Father, I desire that they also whom You gave Me may be with Me where I am, that they may behold My glory which You have given Me; for You loved Me before the foundation of the world." John 17:24
I'm rejoice and give thanks that I am a human being. We were made to be with God, to be fascinated by Him, to know Him. And it never ends.
This intercessory missionary internship has finished officially and with the ending I had to think about all that has happened. So much has happened, so many moments and revelations and funny memories. But with all the many happenings, I can see that God was showing a path. He showed me the way to follow Him. The way to come before Him, the way to taste of Him, to see that He has the words of eternal life, and to keep coming to Him.
"You will show me the path of life;
In Your presence is fullness of joy;
At Your right hand are pleasures forevermore."
Psalm 16:11
He shows me the path of life. I see it. In being in the prayer room in Amsterdam, sitting in His Presence, and talking with Him all those hours I found Him. In Him telling me to take this year off from university and come to YWAM Amsterdam, He was showing me the path that was for me. We all have to come before Him and let Him show us the path of life and only He can show it to us. The pastor through His sermons cannot show this, the greatest and most relevant teachers cannot, the most powerful meeting cannot, the latest book cannot... no musical composition, no drug or substance, no world traveling expedition, no magnificent entrepreneurial venture, no movie or television series... only the Father, the Son, and the Holy Spirit. God made us and He knows us.
Do I know Him? Do I know that in His presence is fullness of joy? Do I know that in Jesus there are pleasures forever? Forever and ever and ever, as in I will never be bored or not satisfied? Fullness of joy! What does that even mean?
Do I know how to simply drink of Him and Him alone? He said that I as one who believes can come and drink and have rivers of living water flowing from my most inner being. Do I know what this reality is: to have rivers of living water flowing from within me? Do I live from this source, this bread of life and this living water?
This path of life is knowing that I need to know Him better. Knowing that there is joy and pleasure in His presence and I haven't tasted the fullness. I want to. Knowing that this reality of having rivers of living water flowing from the innermost being can be true. Knowing that it is possible to feel the affections of God on my emotions and to think like God because I have the mind of Jesus.
I know that I want to know more. I am hungry to have more hunger. I am crying because of the verse that says He will wipe every tear from our eyes. I have the revelation that I need to ask God for more revelation about Himself. Only He can show and only He can spark the flame, only He can breathe life, only He can melt a heart of stone, only He. He is amazing. His love is surprising. 1000 years from now we will still be receiving revelation about His love, we will still be awestruck by His beauty, we will still be tasting of His joy and the fullness of it.
God is beyond anything! And He wants to show us the path of life, the path to knowing Him. He is an open book for us to know. He knows the way. Like in John, Jesus says, "Come and see". I'm a follower of Jesus and He told me to "come and see". For me it was coming to Amsterdam and having a season of intercession. I came and I have seen a glimpse. But the seeing is not for a season. I will be beholding His glory forever, gazing upon His beauty forever.
All will see the glory of this Man, but now He invites us to come so that He can show us.
And Jesus Himself prayed that we who believe would be with Him and see Him.
"Father, I desire that they also whom You gave Me may be with Me where I am, that they may behold My glory which You have given Me; for You loved Me before the foundation of the world." John 17:24
I'm rejoice and give thanks that I am a human being. We were made to be with God, to be fascinated by Him, to know Him. And it never ends.
Sunday, November 14, 2010
aqui
What would you do if I sang out of tune? Would you stand up and walk out on me? Lend me your ear and I'll sing you a song! And I'll try not to sing out of key...
I like it when a friendship gets to that point where you can just be. You don't have to plan things to do or even plan out the time that you will hang out together. You don't have to keep any formalities or worry about whether your behavior will be offensive, your sarcasm will be misunderstood, your mannerisms unmannered. Or maybe you don't have to worry about any such problems, but either way it's jolly when you can get to that point of being. It seems like this is a journey that most close relationships have formerly had to embark upon. A journey to being. Then being productive together, having fun together, chilling together, whatever together doesn't need to be forced.
Before this place of being there is the period of planning activities or going somewhere for the getting to know you time. I'm not saying that I dislike these times. Actually I've had many a fun time hanging out with people, getting to know them, meeting new people. I hear many folks express how much they love meeting new people. I am such a person, for I do like to meet new people. It's interesting. It's exciting.
But at the end of the day, who really knows you? Who can you just be with? Who can you be quiet with, just sit down with, and actually feel at ease in doing so? Who are you comfortable with looking at you? Who do you really know? Meeting new people at parties, activities, shindigs, festivals, concerts, meetings, conferences... just don't cut it.
Jesus is also such a person who wants to be, but more than that. He already is the I AM, so He is always being. However, He wanted us to be with Him. He told His disciples of His desire for them to be with Him. He also prayed that all of His followers would be with Him where He is.
"Father, I desire that they also whom You gave Me may be with Me where I am, that they may behold My glory which You have given Me; for You loved Me before the foundation of the world." John 17:24
We're not the only ones hoping for people to be with. Jesus hopes for this too. Though He doesn't need us, He desires, DESIRES that we be with Him. We were made to be wanted, and we need to be wanted if we are honest with ourselves. Sometimes our relationship with Jesus feels a bit rocky. Not because His love is rocky or because of sin that's in the way... it's not even that we have all of these hurts and pains and guilt on the inside. It's because He is the I AM and we are never. We were or we will be... but we never are. What I mean is that we never live in the here, in the now. Our heart is in the past, our thoughts are in the future. We cry out to Jesus to come to us, we try to summon His Presence... but He's not a spirit that one summons. He is the I AM! He always be being. He's perfectly ok in being with us. He desires it. He desires to be with us with our hurts and pains and sins. He paid for us with His very blood so that we could be with Him. He died so that we could come to Him dirty and broken, but lovely. He knows more about us than we could ever know, yet we need not worry that His affections or delight towards us will run dry, for His love is deeper than any ocean. He endured the cross for the joy that He knew was coming, the joy of being with us. How is this possible!? I still don't understand it!
He's with us, delighting in us. He doesn't always delight in what we do, but He can always delight in us because He sees who we truly are! We are the righteousness of God through Jesus! We are a beautiful bride being washed by the water of His Word and purified day by day.
He's with us and He delights in us. When we are sleeping, when we laugh, when we do something embarassing, when we pick our nose, when we do nothing, when we are uninteresting in the opinions of others... when we try to sing Him a song and it's out of tune and our voices crack. He loves it.
So He is the I AM, but most of the time we are either trying to meet with Him for a business (ministry) meeting, conjure up a party with Him (a Holy Spirit Conference), have a little chill with Him (retreats)... basically everything but being. We don't know how to be. I'm not against any of these things, but most times we plan and force every bit of our relationship with Jesus. At the end of the day, do we know Him? I can say this because I have realized it about my own life with Jesus. I don't know how to be with Jesus, but I am learning. I am learning that with Jesus I am also on a journey. A journey to being, to abiding.
It tickles me to think that He already prayed that I would be with Him 2000 years ago. He prayed that I would learn to abide. He prayed for this journey. At the end of the day, Jesus also asks the question, "Who really knows me?" At the end of our lives, He will ask us, "Did you get to know Me? Did you learn to love Me?"
Millions of years from now, we will not be prophesying, or organizing social justice meetings, or attending church-planting trainings, or serving the poor. Millions of years from now, we will be loving the great I AM. He is the beginning and the end. He is the source. Loving Him for who He is, wasting our lives on Him for who He is, seeking to know Him as an end in and of itself is the source of all life. All other ministries or good works are by-products. I think that in the past, my ministry was the source of life for me and knowing God was the by-product. I don't want that anymore. I want to be with the I AM.
And How can we get to this place of being? Well, we also have a getting to know you time with God. I think we will always be getting to know God haha, because He is much more than any human friend. He is infinite! But He is fully God and fully man. It's a mystery. It's love. He wants to be with us. Eat with Him and read His Word... it's our daily bread. Sit with Him and breathe, saying His name. He is the air we breathe. Study Him through the book of Revelation. It's the revelation of Jesus Himself. Sing to Him and then listen to Him sing back to you.
picture from a petting zoo in Amsterdam
it rains alot here
I like it when a friendship gets to that point where you can just be. You don't have to plan things to do or even plan out the time that you will hang out together. You don't have to keep any formalities or worry about whether your behavior will be offensive, your sarcasm will be misunderstood, your mannerisms unmannered. Or maybe you don't have to worry about any such problems, but either way it's jolly when you can get to that point of being. It seems like this is a journey that most close relationships have formerly had to embark upon. A journey to being. Then being productive together, having fun together, chilling together, whatever together doesn't need to be forced.
Before this place of being there is the period of planning activities or going somewhere for the getting to know you time. I'm not saying that I dislike these times. Actually I've had many a fun time hanging out with people, getting to know them, meeting new people. I hear many folks express how much they love meeting new people. I am such a person, for I do like to meet new people. It's interesting. It's exciting.
But at the end of the day, who really knows you? Who can you just be with? Who can you be quiet with, just sit down with, and actually feel at ease in doing so? Who are you comfortable with looking at you? Who do you really know? Meeting new people at parties, activities, shindigs, festivals, concerts, meetings, conferences... just don't cut it.
Jesus is also such a person who wants to be, but more than that. He already is the I AM, so He is always being. However, He wanted us to be with Him. He told His disciples of His desire for them to be with Him. He also prayed that all of His followers would be with Him where He is.
"Father, I desire that they also whom You gave Me may be with Me where I am, that they may behold My glory which You have given Me; for You loved Me before the foundation of the world." John 17:24
We're not the only ones hoping for people to be with. Jesus hopes for this too. Though He doesn't need us, He desires, DESIRES that we be with Him. We were made to be wanted, and we need to be wanted if we are honest with ourselves. Sometimes our relationship with Jesus feels a bit rocky. Not because His love is rocky or because of sin that's in the way... it's not even that we have all of these hurts and pains and guilt on the inside. It's because He is the I AM and we are never. We were or we will be... but we never are. What I mean is that we never live in the here, in the now. Our heart is in the past, our thoughts are in the future. We cry out to Jesus to come to us, we try to summon His Presence... but He's not a spirit that one summons. He is the I AM! He always be being. He's perfectly ok in being with us. He desires it. He desires to be with us with our hurts and pains and sins. He paid for us with His very blood so that we could be with Him. He died so that we could come to Him dirty and broken, but lovely. He knows more about us than we could ever know, yet we need not worry that His affections or delight towards us will run dry, for His love is deeper than any ocean. He endured the cross for the joy that He knew was coming, the joy of being with us. How is this possible!? I still don't understand it!
He's with us, delighting in us. He doesn't always delight in what we do, but He can always delight in us because He sees who we truly are! We are the righteousness of God through Jesus! We are a beautiful bride being washed by the water of His Word and purified day by day.
He's with us and He delights in us. When we are sleeping, when we laugh, when we do something embarassing, when we pick our nose, when we do nothing, when we are uninteresting in the opinions of others... when we try to sing Him a song and it's out of tune and our voices crack. He loves it.
So He is the I AM, but most of the time we are either trying to meet with Him for a business (ministry) meeting, conjure up a party with Him (a Holy Spirit Conference), have a little chill with Him (retreats)... basically everything but being. We don't know how to be. I'm not against any of these things, but most times we plan and force every bit of our relationship with Jesus. At the end of the day, do we know Him? I can say this because I have realized it about my own life with Jesus. I don't know how to be with Jesus, but I am learning. I am learning that with Jesus I am also on a journey. A journey to being, to abiding.
It tickles me to think that He already prayed that I would be with Him 2000 years ago. He prayed that I would learn to abide. He prayed for this journey. At the end of the day, Jesus also asks the question, "Who really knows me?" At the end of our lives, He will ask us, "Did you get to know Me? Did you learn to love Me?"
Millions of years from now, we will not be prophesying, or organizing social justice meetings, or attending church-planting trainings, or serving the poor. Millions of years from now, we will be loving the great I AM. He is the beginning and the end. He is the source. Loving Him for who He is, wasting our lives on Him for who He is, seeking to know Him as an end in and of itself is the source of all life. All other ministries or good works are by-products. I think that in the past, my ministry was the source of life for me and knowing God was the by-product. I don't want that anymore. I want to be with the I AM.
And How can we get to this place of being? Well, we also have a getting to know you time with God. I think we will always be getting to know God haha, because He is much more than any human friend. He is infinite! But He is fully God and fully man. It's a mystery. It's love. He wants to be with us. Eat with Him and read His Word... it's our daily bread. Sit with Him and breathe, saying His name. He is the air we breathe. Study Him through the book of Revelation. It's the revelation of Jesus Himself. Sing to Him and then listen to Him sing back to you.
picture from a petting zoo in Amsterdam
it rains alot here
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