cry

I like this window

I arrived in Amsterdam yesterday. When I got off the subway it felt like I was at EPCOT. I am certainly finding out how American I really am on this trip to the old continent. I heard more Dutch in that first thirty minutes than I have heard in my entire life. I like it. The streets are full of cute cars and crowds of bicycles. No huge Ford trucks here.

The streets are narrow and winding, with cute shops and homes on one side and oftentimes a canal on the other. I love the fact that there is so much water everywhere. To even just glance at it is refreshing, like there is something that's moving and flowing and encouraging and calming. A contrast to the bustling city.

Everyone is scurrying around looking at everything, excited to be in a city like this. I enjoyed watching them when I went for a walk this afternoon. I was able to help a French couple find out where they were on the map. It rained and haled for a few minutes and so I stood in some kind of lobby area with a family from Spain.

Trying to find a department store that somebody told me about, I ended up walking through what looked like the outskirts of the Red Light District. I saw some of the women in the windows. I saw the man walking a few feet in front of me enter into one of the windows, whilst the woman closed the curtain... wasn't expecting that. I smelled weed down every corner... it's still weird to smell that scent out in an open street with tourists and shoppers around everywhere.

Now, I may sound a bit naive or innocent to be commenting about this. Hello! I am in freakin' Amsterdam after all. Of course I know... and I was reminded by the reactions I would get when I told people I am going to Amsterdam for three months (before I said it was for an intercession internship). "Ooohhhh, Amsterdam," with a snide grin or "Oh dude you are so lucky to go to a place like that!"

Well, when I first arrived here I did not feel lucky. I set my things down in the room that I will call my abode for the next three months and opened the window, where I saw people walking down the street through the golden leaves of the tree outside the window and in the distance saw the glistening water of the Nieuwe Vaart canal. The wind blew, tickling the tree, refreshing my room. I couldn't help the tears streaming down my face. The song "Rushing Wind" by Keith Green popped into my head.

Rushing wind blow through this temple,

Blowing out the dust within,

Come and breathe your breath upon me,

I've been born again!


I am not lucky. I am blessed. I am blessed beyond measure. I am hungry to see the Face of God and to know Him better. I want to think about Him so much more than I do because He is a beautiful and wonderful person to think about. If I sound innocent, then it is not enough because I want to have a heart of innocence! I want to be like a child and trust in my Papa with my whole heart because my life depends on it. I want to look at people with the pure love of God. I want to look at every person I see in this city with His loving, kind, pure eyes. I want to long for His fragrance more than I already do. I want to have His wisdom.

Only with the Holy Spirit can we be as cunning as a serpent and as innocent as a dove.

This evening, I went to the prayer room and I cried for that woman and that man. Then I cried out for more of Abba because I wanted more of Him so badly. I wanted to know more of Him and to think about Him more. I desired Him! And He said, "I love you so much. You are blessed among men and women." I rested there and listened to some Misty Edwards. We miss you Jesus heehee!

I am ready for this internship to start. The name tags on our doors say, " Intercessory Missionary Internship-When all you want is one thing." YES!!! Tomorrow is the welcome dinner, I'm excited :)


YWAM Base

Mi Cuarto


yay YWAM!