I like it when a friendship gets to that point where you can just be. You don't have to plan things to do or even plan out the time that you will hang out together. You don't have to keep any formalities or worry about whether your behavior will be offensive, your sarcasm will be misunderstood, your mannerisms unmannered. Or maybe you don't have to worry about any such problems, but either way it's jolly when you can get to that point of being. It seems like this is a journey that most close relationships have formerly had to embark upon. A journey to being. Then being productive together, having fun together, chilling together, whatever together doesn't need to be forced.
Before this place of being there is the period of planning activities or going somewhere for the getting to know you time. I'm not saying that I dislike these times. Actually I've had many a fun time hanging out with people, getting to know them, meeting new people. I hear many folks express how much they love meeting new people. I am such a person, for I do like to meet new people. It's interesting. It's exciting.
But at the end of the day, who really knows you? Who can you just be with? Who can you be quiet with, just sit down with, and actually feel at ease in doing so? Who are you comfortable with looking at you? Who do you really know? Meeting new people at parties, activities, shindigs, festivals, concerts, meetings, conferences... just don't cut it.
Jesus is also such a person who wants to be, but more than that. He already is the I AM, so He is always being. However, He wanted us to be with Him. He told His disciples of His desire for them to be with Him. He also prayed that all of His followers would be with Him where He is.
"Father, I desire that they also whom You gave Me may be with Me where I am, that they may behold My glory which You have given Me; for You loved Me before the foundation of the world." John 17:24
We're not the only ones hoping for people to be with. Jesus hopes for this too. Though He doesn't need us, He desires, DESIRES that we be with Him. We were made to be wanted, and we need to be wanted if we are honest with ourselves. Sometimes our relationship with Jesus feels a bit rocky. Not because His love is rocky or because of sin that's in the way... it's not even that we have all of these hurts and pains and guilt on the inside. It's because He is the I AM and we are never. We were or we will be... but we never are. What I mean is that we never live in the here, in the now. Our heart is in the past, our thoughts are in the future. We cry out to Jesus to come to us, we try to summon His Presence... but He's not a spirit that one summons. He is the I AM! He always be being. He's perfectly ok in being with us. He desires it. He desires to be with us with our hurts and pains and sins. He paid for us with His very blood so that we could be with Him. He died so that we could come to Him dirty and broken, but lovely. He knows more about us than we could ever know, yet we need not worry that His affections or delight towards us will run dry, for His love is deeper than any ocean. He endured the cross for the joy that He knew was coming, the joy of being with us. How is this possible!? I still don't understand it!
He's with us, delighting in us. He doesn't always delight in what we do, but He can always delight in us because He sees who we truly are! We are the righteousness of God through Jesus! We are a beautiful bride being washed by the water of His Word and purified day by day.
He's with us and He delights in us. When we are sleeping, when we laugh, when we do something embarassing, when we pick our nose, when we do nothing, when we are uninteresting in the opinions of others... when we try to sing Him a song and it's out of tune and our voices crack. He loves it.
So He is the I AM, but most of the time we are either trying to meet with Him for a business (ministry) meeting, conjure up a party with Him (a Holy Spirit Conference), have a little chill with Him (retreats)... basically everything but being. We don't know how to be. I'm not against any of these things, but most times we plan and force every bit of our relationship with Jesus. At the end of the day, do we know Him? I can say this because I have realized it about my own life with Jesus. I don't know how to be with Jesus, but I am learning. I am learning that with Jesus I am also on a journey. A journey to being, to abiding.
It tickles me to think that He already prayed that I would be with Him 2000 years ago. He prayed that I would learn to abide. He prayed for this journey. At the end of the day, Jesus also asks the question, "Who really knows me?" At the end of our lives, He will ask us, "Did you get to know Me? Did you learn to love Me?"
Millions of years from now, we will not be prophesying, or organizing social justice meetings, or attending church-planting trainings, or serving the poor. Millions of years from now, we will be loving the great I AM. He is the beginning and the end. He is the source. Loving Him for who He is, wasting our lives on Him for who He is, seeking to know Him as an end in and of itself is the source of all life. All other ministries or good works are by-products. I think that in the past, my ministry was the source of life for me and knowing God was the by-product. I don't want that anymore. I want to be with the I AM.
And How can we get to this place of being? Well, we also have a getting to know you time with God. I think we will always be getting to know God haha, because He is much more than any human friend. He is infinite! But He is fully God and fully man. It's a mystery. It's love. He wants to be with us. Eat with Him and read His Word... it's our daily bread. Sit with Him and breathe, saying His name. He is the air we breathe. Study Him through the book of Revelation. It's the revelation of Jesus Himself. Sing to Him and then listen to Him sing back to you.
picture from a petting zoo in Amsterdam
it rains alot here
4 comments:
Listen to this music! I like it and I think you will like it too. Look for Misty Edwards' devotional set on September 11th: http://www.ihop.org/Publisher/Article.aspx?ID=1000066807
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Yes, being with him, and delighting in him all day long. We come in and out of prayer meetings, out and in of communion with the Bride, yet He never leaves us. His presence may not be readily felt, but He delights in us constantly, therefore why aren't I delighting in him all the time? I tend to think that pressing into the peace of his presence requires me to be in a special place, yet all day long, I was made to delight and take my deep joy in him, because he is the I AM! Hahaha... I'm so learning how to delight in him all day, without that cosine function. MMhmm, we were made to constantly live in him, live in the Father's heart, living out the Father's love! It's not a scary thing either, because it ain't contingent on my performance! It's all HIM! And He's so trustworthy, and His grace abundant that I am able to abide in him and stay in him (for he chose to reside in me first)! End Rant.
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